Volleyball

So for anyone who has had the pleasure of visiting London and my friends over the last few years you may be well aware that we like to play volleyball... well I personally like to play volleyball... others... love to play it and then there are some... specifically a certain bracket of boys who lose control of their bodily functions for the cause... specifically... rational thought... hence irrational words and phrases. There may be certain people who on occasion find that their obsession for the game means it is no longer anything to do with volleyball... just competition and obnoxiousness.

Remember if you will that I broke my foot playing volleyball and hobbled around London on crutches only to return to the game when I had recovered... and I only "like" playing the game, I'm one of the least!

At the end of the day no one is a professional... we are a bunch of amateurs playing for our own amusement... I mean really... we often start games and realise a few points into the game that no one has been keeping score so we decide to go with 1 all.

I may or may not live with one of the people a few ranks up the volleyball chain, in the realm of "obnoxious volleyballer", the queen bee (QB) of volleyball if you will... who can often be found giving himself and everyone else within a mile of the court an aneurysm on any given Thursday...

I suggested to him once that if he thought he was so good and was on the border of bursting an artery for the cause of improving everyone else's game that he should enter a team into a local competition... you know a social volleyball league... a reason to justify the otherwise unnecessary obnoxiousness and competition. Apparently, according to the queen bee "no one is good enough" and anyone who is good enough "has a bad back" or is "inconsistent". So obviously if you're not going to enter a local competition lets ruin a joyful get together by pretending that we're Olympic rejects who are now in an anger management program on a supervised excursion to play volleyball!!!

Play or even spectate... if you dare!!!

Queen bee can now no longer burst enough capillaries on a Thursday so has now introduced volleyball on a Tuesday... for the elite... only. Being of the humble "likes playing volleyball" rank I have not been invited to join "elite" Tuesday games... i'm not joking... it is referred to as "elite" by the queen bee. After he hit more balls out than me last night I'm actually questioning if he saves his elite game for Tuesdays... only!!! Upon second thought maybe "elite" has nothing to do with the game maybe it's just the tantrums that are thrown.

The tantrums though are in vain... because... lets face it... who really is threatened by a guy whose choice of penile extender is only a 15 inch volleyball... I mean really... if you're going to invest in a phallic symbol... buy a car already!!!